The Folly of Self-Pity

Good evening my loyal fans! I have been reassured that I do have a fan base and I'm not just blogging into air. Thank you everyone for your feedback.

Wouldn't you know! I'm reading a book called "God Meant It For Good". It is about Joseph. I read a couple of chapters each night before bed which is what I did the night after I last blogged. Guess what the name of the next chapter happened to be? It was "The Folly of Self-Pity"!! OK, got that message loud and clear.

You know the worse part?I am very ashamed. Did anyone catch how I was whining about my skin and weight then stopped for a minute to ask for prayers about my Dad's ANGIOPLASTY and then continued to carry on about my skin and weight and feeling "blue". See that's what self-pity does. It makes you self-absorbed stupid. I am so sorry Dad, Tammy & baby brother.

I did figure something out. We had something scheduled every single night last week (six days in a row). This meant I had a ton of stuff at home to do with little time to do it. I think I was feeling overwhelmed. We did not go to Church or Sunday School. I did the shopping, carwashing, housecleaning, yardwork, laundry, school paperwork, checkbook balancing, meal-for-the-week cooking and running instead. Guess what? I felt like a new person once everything was done. Being better prepared put me ahead of the game for this week and it has lightened the burden.

I took the kids to the new Bass Pro Store. OH MY, OH MY! It is jaw dropping big. Someone needs to come visit SA just so I can take you to see this place. The kids were more impressed with this than Fiesta Texas. I don't remember the last time a store made such an impression on me. Remember, I don't hunt, fish or camp and I still want to go back.

Everyone have a good week. My Dad's procedure will be tomorrow or Friday. I'll keep everyone posted. Love!

Bulletins

I come to you with no great words of wisdom. Just updates and tall tales. Lets start with updates. Sara, I'm going to make references to previous blogs. I hope this helps you follow my ramblings a little better.

Remember the back to school directive, we'll I'm fading in October again. I don't know where my time or money has slipped away to but neither is with me. I'm fighting a terrible case of the blues. I have no reason to feel anything but content so I'm going through the motions and reminding myself to be grateful and hopeful. Remember the running, I'm up to three miles three times a week. I'm also up five pounds. Remember the acne, it's back. I may not even go to church tomorrow it looks so bad. I think the weight and skin thing might be contributing to the blue thing. I'll get over it soon. My friend Sara gave me a list of very nice attributes to cheer me up and then told me to take Zoloft. Ha!

What else? Oh yeah, did you hear? ER is soaring in the ratings. It has had some kind of comeback. Also, I just threw away a $10.00 bag of chicken breasts that sat in my frig uncooked all week. That speaks to the preplanned meals discussed in previous blogs. Oh yes, the remotes I programmed are holding up but the new telephone is a piece of junk. The kids are the same. I don't mean they are junk, I mean no big changes. MW just finished her soccer season. Her team had their only win today. CW's friends got wind of the blog and I've been forbidden to talk about him on my blog anymore. He paid me back by running through the house spraying his aerosol.

I don't know if I talked about it but MW's swim party went great! It was funded by Grandpa Chet and Tammy. It was hosted by Grandpa Johnny and Grandma Elise. The weather was perfect. Maybe, I'll post some pictures. I didn't take any so I need to get them from Grandpa.

Now for a tall tale. It's another dog story. Everyone should know I love dogs but have the worse luck with them. Our neighbors dog got out of their yard last week. MW caught him. She knocked on their door (which was way down the street). No one was home. We were late for a basketball practice so I drove down to pick her & the dog up to save time. I thought the dog could stay in our house until we got back. Needless to say, MW had stepped on dog poo and walked all around the minivan before realizing it. When we got back from the basketball event, the dog had messed on the tile floor. So this dog was in my care for two hours and I had to clean up after it as many times. Not to mention there was a dramatic encounter with our cat.

Some current events... my Dad will be undergoing angioplasty next week. I know some have been praying already, please continue. My baby brother turned two on 10/7. He needs a healthy Dad who can keep up with his Mom. Also, we have an exchange student coming in a couple of weeks. The boy is from Mexico and is the same age as CW. I'm a little nervous. He will be staying for ten days. CW will go to Mexico during Spring Break and stay with this boy's family. CW will only be allowed to speak Spanish while there. What else... CW's birthday is in a couple of weeks. I think it will involve a riding in a rented Hummer to a lunch and then to Laser Quest. Oh yes, I'm recovering from a nice case of Keratitis (inflammation of the cornea). Yes, it's because I didn't take my contacts out at night. Yes, I've learned my lesson. It's been two weeks since I've worn contacts and I can't wait to put them back in. The glasses just add the finishing touch when you are overweight and have acne.

Some other tidbits... my twenty year high school reunion just happened. I know everyone is shocked that I'm that old. I did catch up with my 10th/11th grade best friend. She actually attends the same church as me and our kids are at the same school. We weren't best friends in 12th grade for reasons not too clear to me but I'm just glad hurt feelings gave way to best wishes. When I look back, I don't think I really learned how to be a good friend until college. In High School, I liked a person but was still competitive with them. I got a bit of joy by outdoing them. That is completely gone. Now I just have a sincere wish for my friends success even if it is better or more than what I have or have done. If I feel a tinge on envy, I just remind myself... what they have is a gift from God and He has given me different gifts for different reasons.

I'm cutting this short, I have to go to bed and I still have to put sheets on it. I just want to mention that when Sara posts on her blog, she gets 3-5 comments instantly. So any silent readers out there...consider posting comments. What a minute!!! Did I just try to outdo my friend by getting more comments? Ohhhh, I'm laughing at myself.

From Angst to Tween

Today is MW's birthday. She is eight. This means she is a "Tween". I no longer have small children in my home. I'm sure everyone has heard that child development has several stages. Parenting does too. Entrance into a new stage is marked by the age of the eldest child. I'm feeling it more with my last.

She and I went to the zoo today. Just the two of us. It was great. I didn't have to worry about pleasing both children. You know, making sure everyone "gets a turn" sort of thing. We took our time. Keeping in mind my friends and family who are still in the small children "system", I began to appreciate my exit from this stage.

First, the older sib didn't want to go and was able to stay home without a sitter. Second, I didn't need a stroller, snacks or diaper bag. Third, I didn't have to carry anyone. As a matter of fact, I never heard "I'm tired" not even once. I'm going to stop counting now and just ramble. I didn't have to put anyone in a carseat. I didn't have to rush because a child would wear out soon and have a meltdown before we finished. I actually took my time in the gift shop and didn't worry about a child touching/breaking something they shouldn't. No one cried when I said "yes, we'll buy a drink but no lollipop".

I also found the absolute test to know you have left the world of "small children". When you leave the zoo and no one is screaming & crying while you push them in the stroller back to the car because they are tired, hot, and sticky. Furthermore, when you drive away you say "we need to come again soon" not "OK, we won't do that again for another year!" That's the test.

I laugh at myself because it wasn't too long ago I screamed in complete despair to my friend "WHEN... WHEN IS IT GOING TO GET BETTER? I DON"T SEE HOW IT IS GETTING BETTER ANYTIME SOON!!!" I was newly separated with a one year old and five year old. I was working and going to grad school. I was sleep deprived. I wanted to know why it was so HARD!! Nothing was easy. Just going for a loaf of bread meant loading two kids into carseats, trying to escape the store without tantrums, putting the baby back in the carseat while the older one tried to run into traffic. Nothing is easy with small children. The only advantage you get when you have a small child is preboarding on an airplane (but we all know the real hell is just about to start in that situation). Just like my friend reassured me... it did get better. So my friends and family still fighting the good fight... you're almost there. It will get better. If you don't think anyone notices how hard you work... I do and I know I'm not the only one.

Now, no one is allowed to remind me that my oldest is 13 months from turning 13. Just let me feel good for now. Much love to all!

A Happy Ending

I finally have a good reason to stop watching the show "ER". Once a faithful viewer, I have resorted to catching a show here and there just to catch up with the characters. I began to lose loyalty when all the character's lives became so miserable. I think the writers made it a rule that no one could have a happy ending. I just haven't been able to cut ties so I keep tuning in hoping for a happy ending. The season just started and I promised if Abby's baby died that was going to be "IT" for me. Of course, the baby survived even though Abby had a hysterectomy (see what I mean). So I was suckered into another episode this week. After watching this latest edition.... I am done. I am washing my hands of it.

Storyline: An older gay man is ill and about to die. His loyal partner of 15 years is by his side. The ill man's estranged family show up and try to exclude the partner in making medical decisions even though they could care less about their dying relative. Meanwhile, a new intern is introduced to the television audience. She is a Christian and apparently an idiot with no grasp on reality. She is full of Christian cliche' after cliche'. The kind that make me cringe because I know it will instantly cause a non-believer to roll their eyes. Keep in mind this show has NEVER had an openly Christian character before. This is the Christian token.

I have had it! Why?! I have alot of questions about homosexuality. Is it genetic or a choice? If it is a choice, should you chose not to follow the desire? If it is genetic is it acceptable? The same questions everyone else probably ask themselves at some point. Until it is figured out, I am willing to accept that lifetime partners should have some say in end-of-life medical decisions. Treat people with respect, gay or not. It seems this is exactly what the writers of the show want their audience to think. I guess they also want the viewers to think Christians are stupid and deserve no respect. How is it I have to be so "open-minded" about the gay life style while being mocked in the same show?

FYI. Do not mistake my hope in humanity as naivity! Do not mistake my prudence as being simple-minded. Do not mistake my silence as stupidity. No one knows if you are dumb or smart until you open your mouth so be careful when you finally do (especially if you are about to tell this secular world that you are a Christian)! Furthermore, my solid grasp on reality is the very thing that makes me cling to my God even tighter!

Even an Atheist believes in something. You do too if you think about it. I looked around and chose the God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob. Considering the different beliefs and Gods out there, I think this sounds like the best plan. My capacity to tolerate beliefs and lifestyles of others is obviously greather than the writers of "ER".

Call me on Thursdays at 9:00. I'll be free. It is just a television show but I don't need one more thing tearing me down. I'll write my own happy ending...

"Fools mock at making amends of sin, but goodwill is found among the upright."
Proverbs 14:9