From Angst to Tween
Today is MW's birthday. She is eight. This means she is a "Tween". I no longer have small children in my home. I'm sure everyone has heard that child development has several stages. Parenting does too. Entrance into a new stage is marked by the age of the eldest child. I'm feeling it more with my last.
She and I went to the zoo today. Just the two of us. It was great. I didn't have to worry about pleasing both children. You know, making sure everyone "gets a turn" sort of thing. We took our time. Keeping in mind my friends and family who are still in the small children "system", I began to appreciate my exit from this stage.
First, the older sib didn't want to go and was able to stay home without a sitter. Second, I didn't need a stroller, snacks or diaper bag. Third, I didn't have to carry anyone. As a matter of fact, I never heard "I'm tired" not even once. I'm going to stop counting now and just ramble. I didn't have to put anyone in a carseat. I didn't have to rush because a child would wear out soon and have a meltdown before we finished. I actually took my time in the gift shop and didn't worry about a child touching/breaking something they shouldn't. No one cried when I said "yes, we'll buy a drink but no lollipop".
I also found the absolute test to know you have left the world of "small children". When you leave the zoo and no one is screaming & crying while you push them in the stroller back to the car because they are tired, hot, and sticky. Furthermore, when you drive away you say "we need to come again soon" not "OK, we won't do that again for another year!" That's the test.
I laugh at myself because it wasn't too long ago I screamed in complete despair to my friend "WHEN... WHEN IS IT GOING TO GET BETTER? I DON"T SEE HOW IT IS GETTING BETTER ANYTIME SOON!!!" I was newly separated with a one year old and five year old. I was working and going to grad school. I was sleep deprived. I wanted to know why it was so HARD!! Nothing was easy. Just going for a loaf of bread meant loading two kids into carseats, trying to escape the store without tantrums, putting the baby back in the carseat while the older one tried to run into traffic. Nothing is easy with small children. The only advantage you get when you have a small child is preboarding on an airplane (but we all know the real hell is just about to start in that situation). Just like my friend reassured me... it did get better. So my friends and family still fighting the good fight... you're almost there. It will get better. If you don't think anyone notices how hard you work... I do and I know I'm not the only one.
Now, no one is allowed to remind me that my oldest is 13 months from turning 13. Just let me feel good for now. Much love to all!
She and I went to the zoo today. Just the two of us. It was great. I didn't have to worry about pleasing both children. You know, making sure everyone "gets a turn" sort of thing. We took our time. Keeping in mind my friends and family who are still in the small children "system", I began to appreciate my exit from this stage.
First, the older sib didn't want to go and was able to stay home without a sitter. Second, I didn't need a stroller, snacks or diaper bag. Third, I didn't have to carry anyone. As a matter of fact, I never heard "I'm tired" not even once. I'm going to stop counting now and just ramble. I didn't have to put anyone in a carseat. I didn't have to rush because a child would wear out soon and have a meltdown before we finished. I actually took my time in the gift shop and didn't worry about a child touching/breaking something they shouldn't. No one cried when I said "yes, we'll buy a drink but no lollipop".
I also found the absolute test to know you have left the world of "small children". When you leave the zoo and no one is screaming & crying while you push them in the stroller back to the car because they are tired, hot, and sticky. Furthermore, when you drive away you say "we need to come again soon" not "OK, we won't do that again for another year!" That's the test.
I laugh at myself because it wasn't too long ago I screamed in complete despair to my friend "WHEN... WHEN IS IT GOING TO GET BETTER? I DON"T SEE HOW IT IS GETTING BETTER ANYTIME SOON!!!" I was newly separated with a one year old and five year old. I was working and going to grad school. I was sleep deprived. I wanted to know why it was so HARD!! Nothing was easy. Just going for a loaf of bread meant loading two kids into carseats, trying to escape the store without tantrums, putting the baby back in the carseat while the older one tried to run into traffic. Nothing is easy with small children. The only advantage you get when you have a small child is preboarding on an airplane (but we all know the real hell is just about to start in that situation). Just like my friend reassured me... it did get better. So my friends and family still fighting the good fight... you're almost there. It will get better. If you don't think anyone notices how hard you work... I do and I know I'm not the only one.
Now, no one is allowed to remind me that my oldest is 13 months from turning 13. Just let me feel good for now. Much love to all!
posted by kdwalker at 9:06 PM
5 Comments:
I needed that...but I have to say that jealousy is in my heart. I read this the day after we had an "experience" that you were talking about when we went to the State Fair. Oh....good times.
I was kindly reminded by a pediatrician in my Bible study group that there is a reason we call it the "latency" stage. He is the Father of teenagers. So don't feel too jealous just yet. Thank you for being a faithful commentor.
As your official "mole" at your children's school, I have a sweet story to tell you- one that I am sure CW won't tell you himself.
I spent A LOT of time in his class on Monday and Tuesday of this week to do some observation of boy (EF)that the teachers were having a difficult time with. First of all, I feel bad because one of the first things I told Mr.H to do was move the really chatty girl that was sitting next to EF and I suggested that they move CW next to him....sorry. Poor kid, only because I know his name did he get the short end of the stick.=) Actually, it was an easy move for CW because it was only one seat over and he still got to sit by his friend (Ben, I believe). Anyways, on to the sweet story...I go in there on Tuesday and Mr.H is ranting about how EF had spent 15 minutes at his locker (which was a disaster area)that morning looking for some homework and apparently your sweet boy felt sorry for EF and, totally on his own, went over and cleaned out the boy's locker for him! I went and took a look for myself and the locker was immaculate! Later when I saw CW in History, I whispered a "thank you" to him- hopefully that didn't embarrass him too much. =)
Sorry for the eternal comment, but I thought you'd like that story.
I've decided that you and Jenny need to find solice in each other in my absence...that's assuming ya'll aren't having a party because I'm gone.
Its Friday night and Sara alerted me via tele to check my blog. Thank you for that story. You were right...he never mentioned cleaning the locker. The spirit must have moved him because cleaning is a skill he rarely practices. I LOVE having a mole.
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