A Public Defacing
Another Sunday passed. I just finished a run. The neighborhood skunk was waiting for me at the front door again. So I enjoyed the view of my house from the street curb for a bit. Did I mention the neighborhood stray cats are black and white? Things can get a little tricky when the sun goes down.
This week was a banner week for me. I actually made multiple people angry without even trying, not that I ever really try. Usually about this time, when I notice everyone has a "problem"... I admit that maybe I am the problem. I'm not there just yet. However, I am worried about one person in particular (big little brother). As I told my friend, he has a stubborn streak in him. Imagine some movie character declaring "you're dead to me". I'm afraid some animal head will be in my bed tomorrow morning. I've never made him so mad so I'm not too sure what to expect.
Okay, I wanted to share "Too Much Information". All day as I faced the masses at church, my friends and my family, I just wanted to shout "I'm not an animal!" I have the worse tumors growing on my face. I guess those knowledgeable in medicine would call them pimples. I don't know what to do!!! I'm using every Rx'd cream and antibiotics. I'm drinking water. I wash with the suggested soaps. I'm beginning to think it's that blasted green tea I've been drinking! Who said detox? If God was running a democracy, I would submit a bill... as soon as someone gets a gray hair they never again get a pimple. I know I've said that to several of you. Furthermore, I think we should be allowed to take time off from work/school. Call them "Acne Days". It's defeating to go in public like this. My teenage patients have better skin then me right now. Now I must consider going on the birth control pill but I'm at that magic age when women should stop taking the pill. I use to get migraines and leg cramps so I don't think I'm an ideal candidate. Let me think.... will anyone notice my perfect complexion as drool runs down my paralyzed face?
Speaking of drool, the kids and I stopped by the petstore yesterday. I actually asked to hold a dog (don't worry I wouldn't buy one from a petstore). We took a dog/owner personality test earlier and one of the matches was in the petstore window. This reminds me that everyone should go to Google videos and watch "the coolest dog ever". If I could get a dog like that I wouldn't hesitate to own one. I pick dogs like I pick lines at the store/bank/movies. They look promising but something goes wrong and I'm stuck while everyone else cruises through their line. I'm just sitting there wishing I had picked the other line. One of the matches actually has a personality that sounds like a cat! I think that might be the answer to my dog troubles. I know how to deal with a cat. I only even consider owning a dog because MW is wearing me down for one. Last night she called out in despair "no one understands just how much I want a dog" just as she fell asleep.
Alright, I'm sounding a little bitter. I say all this stuff in jest. Dogs, lines, cooking may not be my strong points. However, I know how to load a dishwasher, pack a suitcase, and travel with kids like no one. What I'm really, really good at.... apologies. So big little brother, please accept mine. A wise crack was not what you needed. I promise I haven't gone to the other side. Be my friend again.
This week was a banner week for me. I actually made multiple people angry without even trying, not that I ever really try. Usually about this time, when I notice everyone has a "problem"... I admit that maybe I am the problem. I'm not there just yet. However, I am worried about one person in particular (big little brother). As I told my friend, he has a stubborn streak in him. Imagine some movie character declaring "you're dead to me". I'm afraid some animal head will be in my bed tomorrow morning. I've never made him so mad so I'm not too sure what to expect.
Okay, I wanted to share "Too Much Information". All day as I faced the masses at church, my friends and my family, I just wanted to shout "I'm not an animal!" I have the worse tumors growing on my face. I guess those knowledgeable in medicine would call them pimples. I don't know what to do!!! I'm using every Rx'd cream and antibiotics. I'm drinking water. I wash with the suggested soaps. I'm beginning to think it's that blasted green tea I've been drinking! Who said detox? If God was running a democracy, I would submit a bill... as soon as someone gets a gray hair they never again get a pimple. I know I've said that to several of you. Furthermore, I think we should be allowed to take time off from work/school. Call them "Acne Days". It's defeating to go in public like this. My teenage patients have better skin then me right now. Now I must consider going on the birth control pill but I'm at that magic age when women should stop taking the pill. I use to get migraines and leg cramps so I don't think I'm an ideal candidate. Let me think.... will anyone notice my perfect complexion as drool runs down my paralyzed face?
Speaking of drool, the kids and I stopped by the petstore yesterday. I actually asked to hold a dog (don't worry I wouldn't buy one from a petstore). We took a dog/owner personality test earlier and one of the matches was in the petstore window. This reminds me that everyone should go to Google videos and watch "the coolest dog ever". If I could get a dog like that I wouldn't hesitate to own one. I pick dogs like I pick lines at the store/bank/movies. They look promising but something goes wrong and I'm stuck while everyone else cruises through their line. I'm just sitting there wishing I had picked the other line. One of the matches actually has a personality that sounds like a cat! I think that might be the answer to my dog troubles. I know how to deal with a cat. I only even consider owning a dog because MW is wearing me down for one. Last night she called out in despair "no one understands just how much I want a dog" just as she fell asleep.
Alright, I'm sounding a little bitter. I say all this stuff in jest. Dogs, lines, cooking may not be my strong points. However, I know how to load a dishwasher, pack a suitcase, and travel with kids like no one. What I'm really, really good at.... apologies. So big little brother, please accept mine. A wise crack was not what you needed. I promise I haven't gone to the other side. Be my friend again.
posted by kdwalker at 9:41 PM
3 Comments:
I literally was crying from laughing so hard when I read the paragraph about the zits to Matt. BTW--he thinks you might need antibiotics if nothing else is working. Isn't it about time for your yearly abx course? This time it will be Tetracycline. Good luck with making peace with the world.
Karen,
I have so enjoyed your "whimsical" blogs. I am learning through them what a wonderful mother you must be. I kind of already new that through Sara, but your blogs just confirm that. Tell MW that I will support her plea for a dog. Don't worry, I'm sure she will be the sole caretaker of it!! :} Oh, and BTW, I'll support that bill for no zits after gray hair!!!
Holly M.
I'm loving the feedback. Thank you mommy holly and sara. I'm sure MW will be glad to know someone feels her pain. Oh sara, is it tetra that turns your teeth brown? My skin might get clear but no one will be looking at it. They'll be looking at my teeth thinking of George Washington.
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