"Are you dating anyone? Why not?"
Have you ever walked into a full waiting room? All eyes fall on you. You can feel the eyes watching you while you're trying to find a seat. They're bored. You walked in and now they have something new to look at for a moment. Okay... I sometimes get that same feeling when people ask if I'm "seeing" anyone and I say "no". I suddenly feel like I just walked into a waiting room wearing something inappropriate and have toilet paper on my shoe. I don't dare tell the person asking the question what I'm going to say now... I have not dated anyone since separating six years ago. FREAK FLAG!
Today in church, our Pastor asked the congregation why Jesus asked an invalid "Do you want to be cured?" It is obvious the invalid would want to be helped and Jesus knew the answer... so why would he ask something so obvious? Of course, the man said "yes" and Jesus cured him. Our Pastor suggested the man may have refused help up to that point because he wasn't ready to accept it. Jesus asked the question as a way for the man to finally concede and accept help. So much later in the day, I asked myself... if God asked me if I wanted His help... would I want it? When it comes to finding a "new man", my honest answer would be "no". This answer surprised even me.
I do pray all the time that someday I'll meet someone and fall in love again. This past Summer I was hurting deeply and prayed to understand God's plan. Did it involve someone else for me? I was sure it was a "no" but was surprised to get a "wait". Ask me all the ways I got that message. Not only was I happy for the answer but I was amazed to get an anwer. So back to the "I don't want no man" part... I'm awfully content right now. I think having the kids keeps loneliness away. Managing a household and school activities keeps me busy. My faith keeps me grateful. Sticking to my values and not Pop Culture values helps me not feel like a complete freak (cause in that World my freak flag is high). I don't even want to get a dog because of the extra work. What would I do with a husband? When I see a husband as a blessing and not a burden then we can all agree... I'll be ready.
Plus, I am conflicted. Family history in the past couple generations when it comes to stepdads...not so good. Plus, what if I don't spot the pervert just praying on a single Mom with kids? Plus, I still haven't been convinced (or schooled) that it is okay to remarry after divorce. I just don't remember reading anywhere that is okay but I definitely remember reading that it wasn't. Even as I type that I know if I met someone I would remarry and sort the Biblical stuff later.
So my mind started to churn as I listened to EHarmony.com commercials. The commercials advertise their ability to match couples. Is it the same software Amazon.com uses? You know... everytime you shop with Amazon, their software will make suggestions for you based on past selections. So how would that work with couples? I started thinking about my past selection of men. Amazon would probably say "Oh we see you prefer to financially support men who lie and take advantage of you ... here are our suggestions!"
There you have it. A very long explanation to a question I'm asked often by people I've just met but is never asked by those who have known me for some time. The short answer is "I just don't have time". Whatever the case, I'm just very careful about who I tell that I have pet cats.
Today in church, our Pastor asked the congregation why Jesus asked an invalid "Do you want to be cured?" It is obvious the invalid would want to be helped and Jesus knew the answer... so why would he ask something so obvious? Of course, the man said "yes" and Jesus cured him. Our Pastor suggested the man may have refused help up to that point because he wasn't ready to accept it. Jesus asked the question as a way for the man to finally concede and accept help. So much later in the day, I asked myself... if God asked me if I wanted His help... would I want it? When it comes to finding a "new man", my honest answer would be "no". This answer surprised even me.
I do pray all the time that someday I'll meet someone and fall in love again. This past Summer I was hurting deeply and prayed to understand God's plan. Did it involve someone else for me? I was sure it was a "no" but was surprised to get a "wait". Ask me all the ways I got that message. Not only was I happy for the answer but I was amazed to get an anwer. So back to the "I don't want no man" part... I'm awfully content right now. I think having the kids keeps loneliness away. Managing a household and school activities keeps me busy. My faith keeps me grateful. Sticking to my values and not Pop Culture values helps me not feel like a complete freak (cause in that World my freak flag is high). I don't even want to get a dog because of the extra work. What would I do with a husband? When I see a husband as a blessing and not a burden then we can all agree... I'll be ready.
Plus, I am conflicted. Family history in the past couple generations when it comes to stepdads...not so good. Plus, what if I don't spot the pervert just praying on a single Mom with kids? Plus, I still haven't been convinced (or schooled) that it is okay to remarry after divorce. I just don't remember reading anywhere that is okay but I definitely remember reading that it wasn't. Even as I type that I know if I met someone I would remarry and sort the Biblical stuff later.
So my mind started to churn as I listened to EHarmony.com commercials. The commercials advertise their ability to match couples. Is it the same software Amazon.com uses? You know... everytime you shop with Amazon, their software will make suggestions for you based on past selections. So how would that work with couples? I started thinking about my past selection of men. Amazon would probably say "Oh we see you prefer to financially support men who lie and take advantage of you ... here are our suggestions!"
There you have it. A very long explanation to a question I'm asked often by people I've just met but is never asked by those who have known me for some time. The short answer is "I just don't have time". Whatever the case, I'm just very careful about who I tell that I have pet cats.
posted by kdwalker at 11:30 PM
1 Comments:
Oh...I love your honesty and transparency....and I love that you equated having a husband to having a dog. This is from The Message Matthew 6:33-34:
Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.
Love you, girl.
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